I have been trying to be more subjective in my opinions about Apple and its products but this was just to humorous not to post.
Apple is the legitimate front of the shadowy company Destructotech Ltd. They are an evil organisation which is slowly building up a huge share of all electronic devices in the world. All the devices are fitted with radio receivers and an extremely highly charged battery. This battery can be commanded via the radio receiver to unleash its charge into the user whenever the evil head of Destructotech, Dr. Sammy “the smiling shark” Sauron should choose.